my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize