atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
