I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
