Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
