Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
