bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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