it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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