hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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