I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
