he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
