6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
