dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
