I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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