hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i think im in europe. pls send help
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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