the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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