And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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