i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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