Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
