Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize