you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
