i think i have two assholes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
