She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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