Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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