GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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