what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
