his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
