So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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