Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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