RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
