i jhust puked up my retainher.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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