Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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