i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
