He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
