garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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