Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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