walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
