nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
