Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish you could order shots online.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
