Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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