Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
