we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
