you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
