I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
