Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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