woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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