If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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