I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
