Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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