You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
People in love make me want to vomit
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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