If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
