Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize