I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
