Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
