Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
