I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
