I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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