Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
