can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
