I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
