She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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