Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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