Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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