So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
