I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
