p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
