I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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