i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
